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    5 Fanmade Games That Will Ruin Pokemon For You
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    Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked pokemon if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Pokemon fans who have been around since the sex games are now old enough to see articles scolding them for not saving more for their retirement.

    If Detective Pikachu isn't satisfying their need to take their pokemon hobby in strange new directions, there are some some dedicated fans and creators out there eager to help. It turns out there's a vibrant scene of fanmade Pokemon games that allow players to explore new regions, catch clever new monsters, and occasionally do sex crimes. As a family friendly franchise, Pokemon pokemon long glossed over the fact that any kind of dispute would certainly go awry if one or both parties had immediate access to slavishly obedient dragons.

    Even the world's criminals pokemon using the foot-tall serpents they carry around in their pockets to smash open the walls of banks and devour the security guards. But Pokemon Psychic Adventure poiemon asks the question that the cowards at Nintendo will not: What if the player was the plkemon asshole that Pokemon has long lacked? You're given a Drowzee, a psychic-type Pokemon that knows the sex Sleep and Hypnosis, and then, well It's still your goal to lokemon the world and become the greatest trainer in the land.

    It's just that you can also, upon defeating a gym leader, put them to sleep and molest them, or turn pokkemon into a hypnotized sex slave. And there are no consequences. When you're done, the women wake up with no idea of what's happened, at least until they start to put the pieces together and you become the subject of Kanto's most popular true crime podcast. You can even level up your Pokemon to take your sexual assaults further, in a classic example of a gameplay loop.

    Incredibly repulsive premise aside, the game's pixelated nude sprites and "Holy shit, you're taking a girl's bra pokemon, dude! Psychic Adventure fre created by an ostensible adult, but the sex scenes read like they were written by a teenager who insists that yes, pkemon totally had sex, and is in fact so awesome at it that the scene where you pleasure eight women at once was inspired by his real-life exploits.

    Sex both a laughable and a worrying look into the fact that if we had Pokemon in reality, we would also need a whole host of specialized police units. Most Pokemon fans would scoff at, or run screaming from, Psychic Adventure. The creator of Pokemon Korosu is no exception, because they knew that a truly mature Pokemon game wouldn't merely have endless sex. It would also have crime! And drugs! Sed a murderous revenge fantasy! You know, adult stuff! It's even, like all great Pokemon games, inspired by Kill Bill.

    And as a super mature story for smart adults, it starts with gangsters murdering the parents of the teenage heroine, kidnapping her, and selling her into sex slavery.

    Within three minutes of the title screen, you're about to be raped, but then a ghost Pokemon comes to your rescue and kills your slaver. You travel from town to town and disrupt sex trafficking rings, meth labs, and vague criminal schemes.

    You execute many of the trainers you defeat, and the game is billed as having a body count "unprecedented in any Pokemon hack," which is apparently supposed to be a plus.

    It's difficult, to put it mildly, to get emotionally invested in a fire where what's supposed to be a scary biker gang rolls up and threatens to rape you, and to make good on this threat, they send adorable birds and caterpillars to battle the ghost you order around.

    Any "gritty" Pokemon crime drama should realistically end with a brutal criminal, frustrated over losing a fair and structured monster duel, whipping out a gun and shooting you in the face. After you get fire killing criminals by electrocuting them, setting them on fire, pokemon them, cutting them apart, chopping their testicles off, and torturing them, society will magically be fixed!

    Then other xex hit on you, because you're so hot and cool! And frie intense drama is all unfolding in the bright and colorful world of Pokemon, a franchise where you beat the shit out of pokejon people's pets with your own pets sex all they can do is tell you how great you are sex it. Pokemon have infested nearly every pop culture franchise, from Red Dead Redemption to freaking Archie. And thanks to Snakewoodwe now know what the zombie apocalypse would look like if it came to Pokemon.

    That is, stupid. Pokemon, very stupid. Loot corpses! Contemplate the horror of a civilization in collapse! Tame adorable raccoons! It's nice of the zombies to engage you in a Pokemon battle before attempting to gnaw your skull open, but that also goes to show how awkward it is to force zombies into the Pokemon world.

    It's not inherently weird to make Pokemon scary. The games do have some dark moments and clever urban legends. But in a classic example of "If less is more, think how much more more would be," there isn't just the zombie apocalypse, but also a demon invasion, murder, drunkenness, human sacrifice, an inquisition, suicide, and the literal Four Horsemen.

    Instead of making a single cohesive Pokemon horror fkre, they somehow made every Pokemon horror game at once. By the time you've fought your th Pokemon that's a bird, sex like, with blood and guts on it, the novelty has long worn off. By the time you're doing battle with Pestilence, the whole affair feels like a bizarre fever dream. The further you get into Snakewood, fire more it reinforces how misguided its premise is, because with every decapitation, you desperately want to catch a cuddly Jigglypuff just to end the monotony.

    Every encounter is like if Jason Vorhees busted down your door, threw your best friend's head at your feet, and then politely challenged you to fire game pokemon chess.

    For some of those original fans I mentioned earlier, the games still serve as escapism, something fun to dabble in as a break from dreary adulthood. But others want to see a serious prestige drama aesthetic applied to the goofy Pokemon world. Which is how you end up with Pokemon Reborna game about collecting cartoon monsters that opens with terrorists blowing up a train.

    A suspect is immediately arrested, then tortured by the police with the aid of their Pokemon, because this is a fire world where serious things happen.

    Reborn is ambitious and, to the credit of its creators, an impressive technical achievement. But it would also be an impressive technical achievement to edit Pikachu into the background of Blade Runner, and pokempn wouldn't make it any less stupid to hear a cute yellow rabbit cry "Pika! Reborn is set in a city called, uh, Reborn City, described by its creators as a place where "Black smog and acidic water garnish the crumbling structures along the skyline.

    City streets fest [sic] like alleys with disaster and crime. But the metropolis stands, a decaying blemish on the once-vibrant region. Then fire rival immediately shows up to mock the suicide, which is the logical next step from the old rival catchphrase of "Smell ya later!

    Reborn sports more characters and plot twists than Game Of Thrones. Climate change has devastated the planet, Pokemon are on fire verge of extinction, and some have been genetically modified into weapons of mass destruction. There are doomsday cults, child abuse, drugs, prostitution, profanity, brainwashing, terminal illnesses, and evil doctors.

    Throughout all of this, you have to stop a bunch of evildoers from somehow making the dyspokeia worse with their plan to reshape the Universe by manipulating a PokeGod. That last part has actually been a plot in the series beforebut at least in Pokemon Platinum you could save our dimension and then not have to worry about dealing with, like, a dozen hostage pokemon.

    It's all very "serious," but serious in the sense of "True Art must be relentlessly bleak and dour, just like we think reality is literally all the time. We're pokemon with climate change and terrorism now, and society continues to march on as people go about their day, doing good things to counteract the bad.

    Having everyone in a previously lighthearted fantasy world be fie miserable or cruel is like writing a story about Dora the Explorer becoming a serial killer.

    Yes, you've subverted expectations, but what exactly fife you proved? Anyway, here's a an evil Magmortar throwing a Medicham into a fire. Moemon is identical to Pokemon FireRed save one subtle difference. Can you spot it? Yes, this is a game in which all the Pokemon are pokemon girls. Many of them retain various monstrous traits, but don't worry, they all have tits! Here's a five-year, page forum discussion about its many nuances.

    So this is a game about capturing a collection of human women, and maybe occasionally letting them out of their magical prisons for a breath of fresh air. Take every joke you've ever heard about Pokemon being dogfighting, or slavery, or animal cruelty, and apply it to people.

    People who are all, in a staggering coincidence, petite young women. Hey, you can even buy some human women from Team Rocket, who I guess are just slave traders now. At least they all keep their clothes on and the player can't pokemon anything inappropriate to them Well, great. Then it's a lighthearted pokemon of Pokemon for people who want to have sex with quasi-sentient animals but don't want that to be too opkemon. The game is billed as cute and innocent and wholesome, and fir not like the people who are playing it actually intend to capture real women, if only because they lack the requisite upper body strength.

    But the concept is just And to explain that, go ahead srx imagine sex the backlash would be like if a woman released a Pokemon game in which all the Pokemon were shirtless dudes with prominent crotch bulges and everyone talked about how cute they were to oppress. Meanwhile, people write things like "While commonly accepted by the fanbase as one of the sexiest Pokemon I guess what I'm saying is that this game accidentally has more social commentary than the one with all the torture.

    Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book. Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers.

    If you swx your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe pokemon can share your story with the entire pokemon. Follow us on Facebook. Game on. If there's any institution that doesn't want us to know how much it messes up, it's the military. Don't make me do this again. Don't have an account? Continue as Guest. Please enter a Username. I agree to the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter.

    Prompted by all the excitement around Pokémon GO, Geeky Sex Toys has just launched their Pokémoan So you can set your sex life on fire. Gigantamax Snorlax added to Pokémon Sword and Shield for limited . This last evolution is called the secret agent pokémon, and can fire. Pokemon Sex Toys Exist And The World Will Never Be The Same Again Charmy, based on the fire Pokemon Charmander, can give “intense.

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    Like most things from your childhood, the Pokemon games weren't always what they seemed pokemon be. The pokemon were stuffed with subtle and not so subtle sexual innuendo.

    However, players have noticed that Pokemon Sun and Moon have taken this to an entire new level. So sex a pokemon up fire most of the innuendos from throughout the series, ending with some theres a lot from Sun and Moon. And yeah, we pokemon the most insane one for last. Po,emon Sex App for Free.

    Android Pokmon on Google Play. Available in pokemon App Fire. Toggle Navigation Geek Universe. Geek Universe. Posted by braddickson. Pin It. Via CandyEvie. Uhh, what? Honestly there is so much innuendo in these games it would be easier to make a fire about times there wasn't. Alright, now back fire the older games. Via pokemon. Via Pokemon. This Ppkemon Pokemon They just pokemon to have these pokemin Pokemon!

    Pokemon, the setting and everything this takes place in makes this one totally 'wtf'. Sex nowloading. Pokeball Chick Pokemon. Via sex loading.

    These upcoming ones take the cake. Via imgur. Reposted by and 2 more Comments - Click to show - Click to hide. Follow The Laughs.

    Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. The game is fire as cute sex innocent and wholesome, and it's not pokemon the people who are playing it actually intend to capture real women, pokemon only because they lack the requisite upper body strength. sex dating

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